I’m writing this in honor of my grandmother, who passed away today, September 25, 2024, at the age of 85.
My grandmother spoiled all her grandchildren with lots of food, love, care, and attention. She also had a deep compassion for animals and treated them like family. Some of my fondest memories with her are from when she would gently tap my back to help me fall asleep since I'm a light-sleeper. She was a devout Catholic, and I remember when I was little, she would sometimes take me to church and insisted that I 'kneel-walk'' with her towards the altar to pray. And who can ever forget her adorable dimples that danced on both her cheeks? Our grandmother was truly a joyful soul.
She was an incredibly strong woman in her younger years and remained diligent and hardworking throughout her life. She wasn’t born into privilege and didn’t finish her studies, yet despite these, she lived a life of tireless effort, doing her best to raise eight children with determination. She was a survivor, but she also pushed her body to its limits by overworking. Her body eventually began to wear down, and after she suffered from a stroke this year, her health slowly deteriorated. But she fought a good fight.
She was a very religious woman, always praying no matter where she was. What I admire about her is her unwavering devotion, always turning to prayer for guidance and comfort. In her hometown, she was known as a generous woman, always ready and never hesitant to lend a helping hand to anyone in need. Her giving nature is remembered by everyone whose lives she touched. In her own special way, she showed me the true meaning of giving without conditions.
When she passed, I gently encouraged my Mom to accept what is and to just be grateful that we all got to spend time with her in her last days and to celebrate her life instead of dwelling on sadness. I said this because my view on death has changed and I understand that it is especially hard for her, having witnessed my grandmother's last moments.
Death of our physical body is bound to happen; we are aware of this truth from the very beginning, yet we often choose to ignore it. This is why it's important to prioritize taking care of our well-being—because life on Earth is fragile and temporary. We are all placed in our physical bodies to experience this reality, and we should therefore strive to live life to the fullest, and avoid wasting our time on poor choices. By nurturing our physical, emotional, and spiritual health, we can make the most of the time we have and live life with greater purpose and awareness.
Previously, I viewed death as something to be feared or something to be avoided with every effort possible. Because that was instilled in our minds by the society we live in. Many people actually fear the process of dying ''more than'' death itself. Just the thought of enduring long-term suffering, losing dignity, being in a vegetative state, or experiencing physical pain adds to our anxiety. But more than that, with death, you lose control over everything. That's what most people fear—the fear of losing control. All the things we've worked for and accumulated in this life remain behind when we die. We cannot choose when or how we die, and this uncertainty makes many people feel helpless.
During our time here on Earth, we are all meant to elevate our souls. We often fail to achieve this due to the choices we make that can prevent us from reaching the fulfillment that our souls truly seek. Each decision, whether big or small, shapes our life journey, and it is important to be mindful of how our actions align with our spiritual growth. Real maturity and growth are not just about fulfilling family responsibilities, or church obligations, or being productive, or managing your time wisely; it also involves taking the time to self-reflect, broadening your self-awareness, setting pure intentions out of love, and discovering life's deeper meanings and the true value of the people and things around us.
When we don’t live a life of purpose, we may end up feeling regretful, bitter, and consumed by anger or spite. Instead of healing and growing, we might hold on to grudges, blaming our family or others for the struggles we have faced. These feelings may trap us in a victim mentality mindset and keep us from finding peace within ourselves. But by choosing love, forgiveness, and taking responsibility for our actions, we can break free from this negativity and move toward a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
By consciously choosing paths that nurture and heal our souls, we can move closer to the ''fulfillment'' that we are all supposed to be destined for. In doing so, we not only ensure a life well-lived but also approach death without fear or regret.
When we turn fear of death into acceptance, we recognize that it is a natural part of the human experience. This allows us to see it not as an ''ending'' but as a peaceful transition. When we know we have lived fully and nurtured our souls, we can approach death with a feeling of peace and fulfillment.
A mindset of acceptance helps us appreciate the value of life.
Acceptance helps us focus on the present moment, allowing us to build stronger connections with both our loved ones and ourselves. When we move from fearing death to accepting it, we can look back on our lives with gratitude for the experiences, lessons, and love we've shared with others.
By doing this, we create room for open conversations about death, making it easier to share our thoughts and feelings, and reducing the fear and stigma around it. By approaching death with grace, we can live more fully, understanding that every moment counts and that each day is an opportunity to cherish the gift of life our Creator has given us.
When we accept death in this way, we tend to focus less on grieving and more on ''celebrating the life'' of the person who has passed.
Grieving can often feel ''low vibrational'', rooted in feelings of loss, sadness, and despair. While it is natural to feel sorrow or sadness when someone we love is no longer with us, immersing ourselves ''solely'' in grief can weigh us down heavily and prevent us from honoring their memory in a joyful way.
Rather than dwelling on the loss of our loved ones, we can choose to feel grateful for the time we had with them. This helps us remember the happy moments, the love, and the lessons they gave us. Celebrating their life is a way to honor their memory and lift our spirits. By doing this, we turn our sadness into a celebration of love, which brings a more positive energy to ourselves and those around us.
Mourning the loss of a loved one is more than just feeling sad about their absence; it often comes with feelings of ''regret''. We may find ourselves reminiscing on missed opportunities with them, wishing we had spent more time with them, or longing to have expressed our feelings more openly, or wishing we had treated them better. Sometimes, you remember past exchanges of unkind words with them or unresolved conflicts with them which intensifies your sadness. Regret can lead to guilt, making it hard to grieve. To cope with this, we should recognize our feelings without judging ourselves. By forgiving ourselves, we can start to heal and move past these regrets.
We can honor our loved ones by healing ourselves and making peace with our past.
We can write a letter to share everything we wish we had said to them or find ways to remember them.
The loss of a loved one should be a time of reflection, unity, and healing. This is a moment to come together, and not create divisions. In times of grief, families can choose to lean on one another, healing old wounds, and working through unresolved tensions. We can use our shared grief to bring our family closer together. By accepting these moments with understanding and forgiveness, we honor our loved ones in the best way possible—by helping each other heal.
As I reflect on my grandmother's passing, I realize that death is not an end but a beautiful transition into something beyond this life. It's a gentle reminder that ''love does not vanish with the physical body''—it lives on in the memories, the lessons we've learned, and the impact my grandmother left on each of us. Instead of dwelling on my sorrow for her loss, I choose to celebrate her life. I choose to turn my grief into gratitude, thanking God for all the good memories shared with her, to honor her legacy more meaningfully. Every shared smile and laugh with her, and every moment of care she showed continues to live on in my heart. In this way, we keep her spirit alive, carrying her with us in everything we do, and that her love, strength, and kindness remain forever a part of us.
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