Have you ever had the feeling that there’s more to life than meets the eye? Do you ever feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled in your daily routine, like something’s missing but you’re not sure what it is? Have you ever wondered if there is a deeper purpose behind our existence? That it seems that the world we live in is somehow limiting our ability to be our truest selves, and teaching us that there are limits to what we can do, see, feel, and understand. Have you noticed how these limitations affect your happiness and sense of fulfillment? Do you yearn to break free from these limitations, explore possibilities, and live a life that reflects who you truly are and what you want to become?
If your answer is yes to all of these, then you're not alone. It wasn't until I began this awakening journey that I started to truly understand the nature of these feelings and the deeper truths they reveal. I realized that every experience and challenge we face was intricately designed for a reason—that is preparing us for a greater purpose. For me, part of this purpose is to share lessons learned, and guide others on their journey towards self-discovery. This post isn’t about preaching or pushing a particular belief system but exploring a deeper meaning and connection.
On a topic often surrounded by stigma and misconceptions, I would usually be hesitant to share my personal experiences. However, in hopes of empowering and helping us understand what spirituality truly means (embracing both the light and dark sides), I feel called to share my own journey in this post. I hope it resonates with you and serves as a guiding light along your own path of discovery, providing you with insights and depth not found in any typical discussions or content about spiritual awakening. The word ''I'' or ''me'' here in this post could be ''Ýou". This journey isn't just mine—it's about us finding our way together . . .
What is Spiritual Awakening?
For many, spiritual awakening means waking up to a heightened awareness of our reality, a change in worldview, or a shift in mindset. But it is actually more than that. Spiritual awakening is a journey of rediscovery, where you reconnect with your true self and align with your soul's purpose.
It is remembering who you truly are and what you are—your core nature, a spirit integrated into a physical body, not just a mere breathing physical body.
You possess an ''essence of the divine''. You are first and foremost ''a spirit'' that has taken on a physical body with a mission—to experience the various aspects of existence in this physical world and to gain wisdom from the lessons presented along the way so your consciousness can evolve, bringing you closer to the divine. Your mind and your heart were powerfully created for a reason that is beyond science, and both play a crucial role in elevating your consciousness.
The awakening process involves stages of deep self-reflection, shedding of ego and old patterns, healing, confronting fears, and embracing authenticity. This awakening increases your awareness, raises your understanding, levels up your consciousness, and connects you to a higher power and greater wisdom.
Spiritual awakening does not happen randomly; it unfolds ''uniquely'' for each person at the "perfect divine timing"—a moment precisely orchestrated by a higher power or the divine—when they see that you are ready to evolve. The journey of spiritual awakening often begins with a series of triggers that disrupt your normal life, leading to feelings of emptiness, questioning your purpose, and a shift in your perspective on the physical world in general. Triggers could be in the form of intense breakups, divorces, loss of loved ones, mental health crisis, or a massive significant life event that throws us into a period of extreme emotional upheaval. All of these catalysts push you to confront deep-rooted issues to begin the process of self-discovery and healing.
Stage 1 - Awakening Triggers: The Catalysts for Change
In this initial stage, some relationships may crumble, you lose friends, jobs are lost, and sometimes, even the ties with your family become strained or disconnected. Then you start leaving behind your usual routines and dissociate from the life you have built.
My spiritual awakening began with a series of triggers, even in my early adult years, but the significant turning point happened around August 2023, shortly after I turned 40. It was as if, every aspect of my life—relationships, family, work, religion, and my sense of self—suddenly fell out of alignment, ''all'' at the same time.
After ending a turbulent 10-year on-and-off relationship that had repeatedly caused me heartbreak, the first major shift came when I learned that my ex-person had married someone else shortly after our breakup. Realizing that the person I spent so much energy on just cut me out of his life just like that plunged me into a deep depression.
In my work life, I was caught in a demanding job where I exerted efforts beyond the usual hours and stretched me beyond my capabilities while allowing myself to be repeatedly invalidated and gaslighted at work by people who seemed more inclined to undermine rather than support. I neglected my health, sacrificing proper meals and good sleep for a job that didn’t truly appreciate my efforts and hard work. I came to realize that this unhealthy work environment was not only affecting my well-being but was also holding me back from growth and fulfillment. Eventually, I resigned, providing an honest and detailed resignation letter outlining my concerns and the kind of treatment I received.
At home, I faced challenges within my family, often finding it hard to break free from certain negative patterns and not always receiving the emotional support I needed during my difficult times. When I voiced my thoughts or shared my difficulties with honesty, I often appeared to be in the wrong, or that my difficulties seemed ''insignificant'' compared to my family's. So, I frequently chose to be silent rather than engage in discussions that wouldn’t resolve anything or contribute to my healing. Moving away and isolating myself allowed me to make my own decisions and avoid negative energy, providing the space I needed for personal growth and clarity.
Growing up in a devout Christian household, I was a very active church member, a choir member and a Christian youth leader. However, my awakening led me to question the very teachings of the faith I was raised in. I began to ask, why do we need to be saved? Are we inherently sinners in the eyes of God who need to repent? Why must we belong to a religious community to be saved and to be connected to God? Why do people judge or treat others unkindly and still consider themselves ‘’religious’’? These questions extended to concerns about church fundings and the punishments for not fulfilling church obligations. This questioning challenged my long-held beliefs and pushed me to seek deeper truths.
Around the same time I was trying to heal from a heartbreak, meeting my divine counterpart face-to-face stirred up my insecurities, fears and ego. I felt an intense, almost unexplainable reaction toward a complete stranger. Currently, I am in a separation phase with this person. I will cover divine counterparts in a separate topic and how you can recognize if you are on a divine counterpart journey, but yes, it is true that the initial meeting does trigger a strong spiritual awakening for both individuals, ultimately pushing them toward self-love and healing before their fated reunion.
At this stage of my awakening, I also began to see people's true intentions more clearly. It revealed who my real friends and family were, especially during times when I needed help the most. Some friendships or relationships I thought were long-lasting turned out to be surface-level, as these individuals distanced themselves, with some even condemning and criticizing me once they became aware of the challenges I was facing. On the other hand, those who offered genuine support and stood by me without expecting anything in return showed their true concern and kindness. This revelation was both enlightening and painful for me, as it involved letting go of people who no longer serve my highest good. Through this process, I learned the value of authentic connections and the importance of surrounding myself with people who genuinely have my best interests at heart.
Then I started asking more fundamental questions like: What is my true purpose? Am I meant to work tirelessly until I get old and die, like everyone else? Should I just accept the rules set by my religion and society without question? Is everything worth the effort and energy I’m investing?
Stage 2 - Navigating the Darkness: Ego Death
All of these triggers threw me into a sense of emptiness, a void that no amount of effort, people, or material things could fill. I felt lost, confused, and deeply depressed, losing interest in many activities I once enjoyed. I wanted to scream out all my mixed feelings and my dark, overwhelming emotions, but instead, I began to turn inward, searching for answers.
During this stage, known as "Ego Death" we face an existential crisis characterized by intense emotional struggle, depression, and doubt. Behaviors such as people-pleasing and seeking external validation from others, including any limiting beliefs, fears, and insecurities are revealed to us. As we confront our deepest fears and insecurities, our ''ego''—the false self we always cling to for validation and protection—is stripped away, leading us to a deep self-realization and the shedding of these old identities and beliefs that were instilled in us.
We all have faced these intense emotions at some point, but it's up to us whether we choose to face it (embrace our darker side and transform it into light) or remain trapped in the dark pit, suppressing our feelings forever and letting them consume us. Sometimes we get so caught up in surviving in this world that we don’t take the time or make the effort to face our wounds, grudges, and resentments.
In these darkest moments, I chose to confront my emotions head-on. I allowed myself to feel deeply, crying until I was exhausted. It was a draining process, but I have always believed in my ability to turn darkness into something positive, as I had done many times in the past. This time, however, I realized I had been suppressing my emotions for far too long, that is why they erupted so painfully.
I cried countless times in front of a mirror, hating myself, losing my appetite, unable to sleep, threw and broke a few things here and there, injuring myself in the process. I wept until I fell asleep on the floor, pouring out my anger and pain (to myself) at everyone who had hurt me. No shame in admitting this—these reactions were all very human. For me, there is beauty in acknowledging your real emotions and vulnerability. It allows you to emerge as your authentic self, stripped of all the baggage that had been weighing you down for a long time.
Stage 3 - The Path of Solitude: Embracing Isolation
As we acknowledge our real emotions and confront our inner struggles, we often find ourselves drawn to the path of solitude. This stage does not mean completely disconnecting from people but taking the time to reflect on oneself without external distractions. Separated from the noise of the external world, we go inward, seeking comfort in the quiet of our own existence.
‘’Silence’’—which is often overlooked in our world that is dominated by words and actions—is actually a very powerful force that fosters inner peace and a deep connection with ourselves and the divine.
By quieting our minds and detaching from external distractions, we allow new insights and perspectives to come into our minds. These moments of silence help us discover our authentic selves and connect to our inner voice and intuition, guiding us toward our real passions and purpose.
It took time for me to get accustomed to stillness and silence, as we're all so used to the noise of the world. However, once you embrace it, you will feel more rejuvenated and feel a sense of calm.
During this phase, it can be challenging to explain your need to go ‘’solo’’ or go on a ‘’hermit mode’’ to your loved ones. They might not understand why you are pulling away and may even feel hurt or try to disrupt your peace. My mother would often say that she felt I am distant or not connecting with the family because I wasn’t always around, not actively responsive and was living more independently. Despite this, I remained positive, asking them to respect my decision and my need for space. It is essential to handle these situations ''with grace''. They may not understand that this period is necessary for your spiritual path, but you may reassure them that this is needed for your personal growth. What is important is that you understand that in this phase of solitude, you use this time wisely to focus on your own ‘’healing’’, find peace within yourself, and connect to your own spirituality and the divine.
Stage 4 - Seeking Truth: The Quest for Answers
As we start questioning our existence and find ourselves with quiet time in solitude, we explore spirituality through research, introspection, and self-reflection. This exploring phase involves discovering truths that resonate with our core nature and eliminating what no longer serves us, paving the way for authenticity.
When researching, it's important to be careful when exploring information about spirituality amidst the plethora of information and resources available online and in books. We should remain vigilant against being swayed or easily influenced by what we watch, hear, or read. Seeking guidance first from our spirit guides can help us navigate toward the truth. It's also important to use your own smart discernment and intuition and to look deeply into the intentions of content creators. Are they only seeking to recruit for a particular religious community or practice, or just to garner attention, views, or followers, or are they providing genuine spiritual advice?
We also need to remember that our true self connects us ''directly'' to the divine and any external intermediaries or mediators, whether a person, a religious community or symbolized things, can create a separation from our oneness with the divine.
In this discovery stage, we also begin to fill the emptiness with activities that truly bring us peace and joy, such as writing, creating art, spending more time in nature, adopting a new pet, engaging in healing practices, reading new books or web articles, and making new friends. We absorb fresh ideas and develop new habits. This is a period where we allow ourselves to explore and view everything as an adventure for our souls. Often during this time, we expand our horizons to include new spiritual practices and guides.
During this phase, I made a conscious effort to connect more with nature by walking in the park, hiking, sitting and walking barefoot on the grass, and spending quality time with my companion dog. I even exchanged energies with trees, which might seem weird to some, but it was incredibly healing for me. I also learned and practiced meditation, yoga exercises, grounding, and centering. Further, I discovered the true connection with the divine and realized that we each have spirit guides to help us on our journey—something that was not taught in my previous religion.
Stage 5 - Discovering Inner Guidance: Connection with Spirit
In the midst of questioning and seeking answers, we find a guiding light—the presence of the divine and spirit guides. Through meditation, prayer, and practicing gratitude, we develop habits that deepen our connection with ‘’the unseen’’. These practices become part of our daily lives, helping us to rely less on ‘’external things’’ and more on our inner selves.
For me, the presence of my spirit guides became evident during my ego death phase when I started recognizing various signs and synchronicities. It may be because only by shedding limiting beliefs can our own spirit truly begin to recognize the messages from other spirits. I started noticing repeating numbers, messages through music and social media, having vivid dreams, ear ringing, tingling sensations on my forehead and crown, helpful people appearing out of nowhere, inspirational quotes on billboards or shirts, and the appearance of birds, butterflies, and other animals.
These experiences made me realize that nothing in this world is a coincidence; every event in our physical reality happens for a reason and is divinely orchestrated. There is a reason for everything and every person you meet along your journey, and you are exactly where you are meant to be.
Your spirit guides can communicate with you in different ways if you are open to them and truly believe in their presence. They have been with you all along since your childhood, even if you couldn't sense them before. As you heal and start living authentically, you will feel their presence more strongly. Whenever I see signs, experience synchronicities, or hear channeled messages in my mind, I consider these moments as guidance and assurance from my spirit guides. I will cover the topic of communicating with your spirit guides in more detail in a separate topic.
As I tuned into my inner guidance, I became more and more conscious and sensitive that I started to avoid crowded places because I easily feel negative energies. I also avoid distracting noises, such as social media, fear-based movies, and loud, aggressive music that lacks meaning. In peace and quiet, we find comfort in learning that stillness allows us to focus on our mind and self. This stillness is where we often find God, or a higher power, and it becomes a sanctuary for healing and solace. By embracing silence and inner peace, we open ourselves to the wisdom and guidance of the divine, discovering a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in our lives.
Stage 6 - Healing and Integration of Lessons: Embracing Wholeness
With newfound clarity from divine guidance, we begin healing past wounds and generational traumas, embracing forgiveness and self-love. This healing journey involves nurturing our inner child, releasing old patterns, and cultivating self-care practices that promote well-being and self-worth.
Most of us tend to avoid or deny our past wounds and traumas, telling ourselves not to dwell so much on the past. However, as difficult as it is, by not confronting these issues, we fail to realize that we still carry their heavy burden, which is reflected in our actions and how we treat others. Through introspection and self-reflection, we can identify childhood triggers and patterns of emotional response. Recognizing these triggers helps us understand how past wounds continue to influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in the present.
Forgiveness is a crucial part of this healing process. For me, the first person to forgive is yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings, as we often blame ourselves for every misfortune or bad decision. When you forgive yourself first, it becomes easier to forgive others who have hurt you. Through forgiveness, we release the burden of resentment and anger, which often binds us to our past wounds.
Engaging with our inner child can be profoundly healing. By comforting and validating our younger selves, we create space for change. As an example, I place my graduation and childhood photos on my work desk. Whenever I look at my photos, I would say, "You did good, you were strong, and I’m proud of you." These are words I never heard as a child. This simple act reminds me that I am worthy of love, appreciation, and acceptance, both from myself and from others.
With each act of forgiveness and self-compassion, we strip away old patterns of thought and behavior that no longer serve us.
I often believed I was unworthy of love and had self-sabotaging behaviors due to my childhood and past experiences. Forgiveness allowed me to release these limiting beliefs and embrace my worthiness and adopt healthier coping strategies. By letting go of these old patterns, we create space for new growth and change.
As we release the weight of the past, we become more focused on nurturing our well-being and practicing self-love. I gradually let go of unhealthy habits, such as eating and consuming too much processed foods. I discipline myself to sleep on time and get enough rest. I try to avoid scrolling through social media (I know this can be very addictive to many) and instead, devote my free time to quiet meditation and writing. I have started to develop healthy habits like regular exercise, hydrating myself with water, eating more nutritious, alkaline and natural foods, getting more organized, having self-care routines, and doing self-love affirmations.
I have also learned to set boundaries by communicating my personal limits. There are times when I would either walk away or not react at all whenever I receive any negative attacks from people not because I let them say what they want without objection, but because I chose to protect myself from toxic interactions that undermine my well-being.
Boundaries help define what is acceptable behavior we receive from other people and what is not. By establishing boundaries, we honor our own needs, create space for mutual ''respect'', and protect our mental and emotional health. Setting boundaries is not an act of selfishness but an act of self-care, which allows us to prioritize our well-being and show up authentically in our relationships and daily lives.
Stage 7 - Embracing Purpose: The Call to Serve
As we go through the stages of healing and self-discovery, we eventually come to a deeper realization of our soul's purpose. When you discover your purpose, that is when you spark your creative passions and innate gifts—ones that you may have forgotten you once had within you, ones that were either hidden or your voice that may have been suppressed by the people in your past.
We channel our creativity and passion towards a mission to create positive change in the world.
When I realized I had been in isolation for so long, I felt called to share my light and apply the lessons from my awakening process. I started going out in the sun, engaging in random conversations with people I met, exchanging stories and turning negative comments into positive perspectives. I spoke with various religious missionaries to share what I had learned about spirituality, offered advise and comfort to those in need, helped the less fortunate, fed and saved stray and abused animals, and tried to live sustainably to reduce pollution. I also joined community groups with a good cause, made new business network connections to share creative ideas, and began writing again, something I hadn't done in a long time.
So whether it's through acts of kindness, creative expressions, sharing experiences, or joining a cause, each action is an embodiment of our soul's divine purpose. Through our heartfelt endeavors, we contribute to the greater good and leave a lasting impact on the lives of others, fulfilling our soul's mission with grace and compassion.
Stage 8 - Letting Go and Surrender: Releasing Control
Over the years, we adopt beliefs or descriptions about ourselves based on the perspectives of those close to us, societal influences, media portrayals, religious teachings, and scientific viewpoints. Now that we have discovered our purpose and true essence, we recognize that we are no longer defined by these external factors. Letting go of attachments to these old narratives, we embrace our authentic selves and step into the freedom of self-expression.
In surrendering, we release the illusion of control, opening ourselves more to the divine grace. By letting go of attachments, fears, and expectations, we allow life's currents to carry us toward spiritual alignment.
As we release attachments, we also let go of fears that have held us back, such as fear of lack, fear of death, or fear of rejection. Instead of letting these fears dictate our actions, we confront them with courage, knowing that we now perceive them differently. Letting go opens us to new possibilities and allows our authentic selves to shine. We also find the courage to voice our truth with more confidence and compassion.
It is also difficult to let go of control when you are manifesting something that you really want. Letting go of control means releasing our grip on "what ifs" and future expectations. When I was given a glimpse of my future and finally understood my true purpose and calling, I began to anticipate desperately, trying to predict outcomes and playing different end scenarios in my head. I didn’t realize I was trying to control my future. This led to my frustration, as I spent more time waiting, pondering and expecting than taking action. But as we all say, patience is a virtue. I knew I had truly surrendered and let go when I finally stopped asking, "When?" "How?" and "What if?" I decided to let things unfold naturally and let the divine do its work. But that doesn’t mean I will just wait and stop taking action. Taking even tiny steps toward your goals and manifestations, while feeling happy and excited about it, means you are starting to live in alignment already with your purpose and manifestations
We must remember that only the Divine holds the knowledge of our fate and future, even as we exercise free will.
To truly let go, stay in the present, set intentions rooted in love and compassion, visualize and feel your manifestations, take inspired actions, maintain your high frequencies, and engage in gratitude and consistent prayer.
By embodying these practices, we attract good things into our lives. The Divine will then provide us the abundance and resources needed to fulfill our purpose, whether it be financial resources, supportive people, opportunities, platforms, wisdom, confidence, or voice that we need.
Stage 9 - Living Authentically: Alignment with Purpose
As we surrender control and release the grip of the ego's illusions, we find ourselves on the threshold of rebirth, just like a mythical phoenix rising from its ashes, marking a spiritual transformation. Aligned with our soul's purpose, we step into a life of authenticity and we start to live in alignment with our deepest values and beliefs. With inner guidance, we now move through life with greater clarity and purpose, radiating the light of our awakened consciousness.
I finally embraced a life of authenticity, where I voice my truth without letting others dictate who I am or allow them to create false narratives about me. I defend myself positively, free from shame and guilt, and no longer succumb to a victim mentality. I stand by my faith with conviction, even when others, and people around me, may make fun of me, or may not understand or agree with it. I am now comfortable in my own skin, loving myself as God created me. Living authentically also means quickly accepting my shortcomings and forgiving myself for poor decisions, learning from them, and moving forward positively. I live every day in my faith, knowing that God will restore, renew, and rebuild everything I have lost or that has been taken away from me.
When I decided to leave my job to also start venturing my own business, I knew it was a big risk. The decision was terrifying for me, with no clear path, my ego constantly whispering doubts and fears due to my lack of experience and professional guidance. Despite these fears, I chose to trust my intuition and have faith in myself. I immersed myself in research, sought advice, and connected with people who had walked the same paths. Each step, no matter how small, was guided by my deep sense of purpose. Through perseverance and faith, I gradually saw my plans taking shape, reflecting my true values and passions.
By trusting our intuition fully, we manifest our desires quickly, choosing ''a life of abundance'' in all aspects of life may it be health, happiness, quality time, knowledge, opportunities, and relationships.
In this stage, the divine also brings new people into our lives—our soul tribe—people who will genuinely love and support us unconditionally on our journey.
Stage 10 - The Journey Home: Enlightenment and Oneness
Enlightenment is the ultimate realization of our spiritual journey, where we embrace our true nature as one in spirit with our Creator and all existence. It is marked by profound peace, unconditional love, compassion, deep wisdom, and an understanding of the interconnectedness of all life. In this state, we move past the ego and merge with universal consciousness.
By embracing the path of enlightenment, we move closer to our true home.
As much as I felt lost and disconnected from my true self in the past when I started to dedicate myself to meditation practice and self-reflection, it gradually revealed a deeper understanding of my purpose and the truth of our existence. The worries and fears that had once plagued my mind are no longer significant. I no longer rely too much on physical or external things as my sole means of survival. I no longer complain or even compare myself to others but instead am grateful for whatever I have. I consider whatever I have as abundance in its own way and learn to use these resources wisely for the greater good, integrating them into my personal growth and helping other people.
I now see beyond the status and appearance of every person I meet, and every situation I face, unlike before when I was influenced by judgment where my perceptions and actions were previously shaped by preconceived notions or biases. We usually assess people based on their social status, physical appearance, or other surface-level attributes, rather than understanding and valuing them as individuals. To me now, everyone is equal in my eyes, whether someone is considered rich or poor, popular or introverted, attractive or not, disabled or not, sick or healthy. And although I am aware that I have not reached enlightenment yet as I am still continuously learning lessons, I no longer see myself through ego and separation. Instead, I create a sense of peace, love, unity, and compassion for “all beings”—humans, animals, nature, all God's creation. I consistently practice gratitude and appreciate every moment of peace and clarity.
Going through these stages of spiritual awakening is indeed a profound and transformative process. As we navigate these stages, we learn to embrace our true nature. One thing we should understand is that spiritual awakening is not a “one-time occurrence” but a “continuous journey’’, a repeating cycle of awakening, letting go, and healing. We continue to learn lessons that better align us with our divine purpose until we reach enlightenment. In truth, this process can take months, years, or even decades. It involves the development of a framework for your spiritual self to exist and thrive. As the soul grows, and as you learn lessons, and take on challenges and experiences, you move closer to the essence of your true self, becoming more aligned with your higher purpose. Ultimately, spiritual awakening is a continuous journey of self-discovery and spirit evolution, leading us to a state of inner peace, fulfillment, and unity with all existence.
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